29 Weeks - THIS IS NOT AN ADULT VIDEO!!!

Hi all,

     Dave and I had Sunday dinner at my parent’s house this week, which we always enjoy.  We had time to catch up and talk about the fact that this baby is going to be here somewhere in the next 8-12 weeks!!!  GULP!

We talked about so much … the nursery, how we will acclimate Charlie to his new brother, and my mom even shared her thoughts about last week’s posting about leaky boobs.  Frankly, she wasn’t a fan ;) But both my dad and Dave said that neither of them even knew that leaky boobs even happened!  So, my friends, I feel as though I can use this blog as a good educational tool to help inform and enlighten those of us who are not aware of all of the many wonderful things that come along with this budding life. If constipation, hemorrhoids, heartburn, leaky boobs and a fat … everything, isn’t appetizing, I don’t know what is!

My parents also shared with me all of the comments they’ve received from people who are reading this blog … people I never even imagined would know about it, let alone spend the time reading this! So, another thank you to everyone for tuning in on our journey. We can’t thank you enough for the support.

One thing that they shared, which I find quite interesting, is that apparently the status of my ever-changing belly button is of the interest to many readers!  Who knew that such a little knob could spark so much interest.  It continues to freak the “bleep” out of me, and I can tell you that every run to the bathroom seems to bring on a new transformation in the physical appearance of this tiny button. And I would be lying if I told you that I don't poke it in from time to time in an effort to slow the progress ;)

Since my belly button has such a “growing” (pun intended) fan-base, and since it seems to be transforming everyday, I feel as though this belly button has taken on an identity all its own.  I feel that it’s only right that such a being deserves a name.  So, yesterday in the shower, it hit me.  From here on out, I will only refer to my metamorphosing belly button as Isabelly.  First name, Isabelly, last name, Button.  Isabelly Button.  

What used to be an “innie” is now … gosh, I don’t even know how to describe it.  It’s mostly flat.  But I can officially report that Colonel Isabelly Button has assembled a battalion and is quickly planning an all-out attack on its surrounding environments.  Put the women and children to bed, because this squadron will bite off anything in its way.  I have even informed Dave to make sure he keeps his distance because there is no telling what Isabelly Button and her fierce regiment are capable of. I will be sure to report back to all of you when it is again safe to leave your homes.

In other news, there is an additional topic that came up at Sunday’s dinner of which I feel responsible to report on through this blog.  While discussing the actual birth of this little man, Dave has shared his views for wanting to view, all of the views of pregnancy ... meaning ... he wants a front row seat to all of the ... ahem... action.

I am not sure how other women feel about this, but I have some specific thoughts on this topic. I realize that the delivery of our child is going to be one of the BIGGEST days of our lives, and it's going to be wonderful and a moment we will never forget .... EVER.  So, of course I want Dave to be involved in just about every aspect of the birth as possible, from the first contraction, to cutting the cord.  However, there is one MAJOR, HUMONGOUS, GIGANTIC , BIGGER THAN SHAQ problem I have ...

NO ONE IS ALLOWED SOUTH OF THE BORDER!!!!!!!!!!!! RAAHHHHHHRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

(hear that? That growl is a warning call made from an angry preggo … this relatively tamed creature will keep its distance, but has been known to attack when provoked.  Also, please don’t feed the birds.)

Seriously … I feel very strongly about this.  Unless you have initials after your name (M.D., R.N., etc) YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED DOWNTOWN.  I don’t care if you are my husband, have given birth yourself, or are blind and can’t see a thing … you are NOT ALLOWED. Dave and I have had some interesting conversations about this.  Dave wants to see everything the minute it happens … and has even threatened me with a VIDEO CAMERA ... but I think EVERYONE can wait the 0.5 seconds it takes for the doctor to yank the baby out and present it to the room.  And, really?? A video camera?  THIS IS NOT AN ADULT VIDEO!!!

NO ONE wants to see what goes on down there.  Should one be exposed to the trauma that occurs below the belly, one shall NEVER be the same.  The amount of blood, guts, goo, and other disgusting properties that spew from the area are not things that can be ignored.  I don’t care how “amazing” giving birth is … everyone can wait for the baby to be taken out and THEN you all can have your “oh my god he’s here” moment.

Those who ignore or otherwise disobey this ruling will have your arms and legs gnawed off by Isabelly Button.

Thank you!

Forgot to list my Preggo Brain Instance of the Week last week.  So here's what I can tell you.  In an effort to lower the AC upon preparing to leave for the morning the other day, I accidentally TURNED ON THE HEAT.  This smell started coming out of the vents and I couldn't figure out what it was.  Dave came FLYING down the stairs wondering what was going on and noticed that I turned the heat on.  I still have NO recollection of doing this.  I think Charlie did it...

As for our little man, this week he is about the size of a butternut squash!  He's about 17 inches and just about 3lbs!!!!  And for the very first time, I felt him hiccuping!!!

How far along? 29 Weeks, 5 Days

Countdown: 10 Weeks, 2 Days

Total weight gain: 22lbs at my last checkup.  Next checkup is in 2 weeks, but I've decided that I hate this question.
Maternity clothes? Yes. I picked up a couple more tank tops this past weekend. My old tank tops don't cover the bottom of my tummy anymore :(  So, to make myself feel better, I also bought a pair of black Coach pumps for work :)
Stretch marks? nope, still stretch-free! thank god! But I freaked out the other day thinking I ran out of my stretch cream ... just an air bubble, but I've definitely got to stock up!

Sleep: Our AC is still broken in our bedroom, grrr, but I have been sleeping better the past few nights thanks to the evening temps dropping a bit!
Best moment this week: prenatal yoga (great to hang out with some other preggos!!), shopping with Lisa Lu, getting the basement cleaned out, and Dave started painting in the nursery!
Miss Anything? wearing 3/4 of my wardrobe, going for a run ... and WINE.

Movement: Yes!  he's been going nuts the last few days.  I literally almost had to excuse myself last week during an interview at work.  While interviewing a candidate for a job and trying to wear my best work Poker Face, the little man started going NUTS!  I'm pretty sure he's practicing some Michael Jackson moves, but I almost couldn't keep the laughter in.  He's already testing mommy's boundaries!
Food Cravings: macaroni and cheese from A BOX.  Oh my god.  And it had to be the kind with the orange cheese ... where the heck did that come from?
Anything making you queasy or sick: no, but I feel queasy and sick after eating so much mac 'n cheese!
Gender: BOY!

Labor Signs: Nope! But apparently soon ... fan-freaking-tastic.

Symptoms: my back has started killing again.  Other than that, I don't have any horrible symptoms.
Isabelly Button, In or Out? Survey says??? FLAT!!!
Wedding rings on or off? on, BUT it was quite hard to get them off the other night to clean them.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Overall, happy, but feeling the pressure of impending motherhood!
Looking forward to: Hitting week 30!! .... eerrr ... I think!!!  Also, only a few weeks left until our shower :) Can't wait to celebrate!

28 Weeks - The 3rd Trimester

The 3rd Trimester

That's right. I've officially entered the 3rd Trimester.  The golden 2nd trimester is over, and now all hell is going to break loose, apparently.  All of the pregnancy books and websites basically tell me that I should prepare for an upcoming sh!+ storm of symptoms, oh, and labor.  I should just pitch a tent somewhere and curl up in a ball and wait for the pregnancy gods to strike.  Screw the Mayans, the end of the world isn't this December, it's RIGHT HERE and RIGHT NOW if you ask this pregnant lady.  

According to everything I've read, I should be blowing up like a balloon, having contractions, and taking up knitting, or some other calming hobby as I won't be sleeping anymore for, oh, pretty much the rest of my life.

Oh ... and one other symptom I'd like to mention for your enjoyment:

• Leaky boobs. Your breasts may already be producing baby's first food, a yellowish substance called colostrum.

LEAKY FREAKING BOOBS?  I totally did NOT sign up for this.  I wasn't told that my boobs would start leaking until AFTER the baby was born, and that was bad enough, but at least I had some time to mentally prepare.  Who the heck made up this one?  This is SO not ok.  I can just picture it now.  Me, at work, presenting to a room full of people acting like I know what's going on, only to look down at a top that looks like I just entered myself into some wet t-shirt contest ... except in this competition, there is no prize ... just severe embarrassment, and hopefully a pink slip so that I'd never have to show my face on this side of the Mississippi again.  Luckily, I haven't had to break out the booby tampons yet, and lets hope it stays that way, or else each of you reading this will hear my cries through the internet waves.

Other than checking my bra every time I go into a bathroom, how do I feel about the 3rd Trimester?  I feel, mixed emotions.  I'm excited to have come this far.  Knowing that if I had to deliver RIGHT NOW, chances are, the baby would survive, and that is a huge relief.  But there is a part of me that feels a little underwhelmed.

For my entire pregnancy, the 3rd trimester seemed so far away.  Then, like magic, I left the golden gates of the 2nd trimester behind.  I have entered through the decrepit, tired, heavy, swollen and aching, gates of the 3rd trimester, only to come to the realization that I STILL HAVE 3 FREEEAAAKKKINNNGGGG MONTHS LEFT!  The only other time I've felt this accomplished, yet dissatisfied at the same time was when Dave and I hit the 20 mile marker at the Boston Marathon in '07.  It was raining with horrible headwinds, but it was an amazing day. We'd been running for what seemed like forever and were just at the and of the "hills" in Newton when we crossed the sign for the 20 mile marker.  My first thought was, "holy sh*+! We just ran 20 miles!!!", to which my 2nd thought was, "Oh crap, we still have 6 miles left!!! aughhhhh!" 

It it great to be here, don't get me wrong, but I think I'm just about ready to take that turn onto Boyleston Street to check out that sweet finish line.

The 3rd trimester brings another symptom that they don't mention next to leaky boobs.  I've started really thinking about the fact that fairly soon, we will have brought another human being into this world.  When I think about what this actually means, I start wondering if I'm really cut out for this 'mothering' thing.  I know, I know ... "Hey Preggo, you probably should've thought about that before your 3rd trimester ... like, maybe, before you got pregnant??"  And I did ... a lot ... but thinking about it then, is different than thinking about it now, because now it's actually going to happen.


It's no surprise ... I'm not very maternal.  I grew up playing in the mud and trying to beat the boys in sprint races, and getting pissed at my cousins when they wouldn't let me pitch in whiffle ball because I'm a girl.  The LAST thing on my mind was raising another individual.  I didn't have dolls, and my barbies never had kids.  Dave is MUCH more maternally inclined than I am, and he is so good with kids.  Am I really cut out for this?  I think every soon-to-be parent should be thinking these thoughts before they have their child.  I guess I have to assume that if you're thinking about these things, then you're proving that you care, and that has to be a a step in the right direction, right? I sure hope so.


That being said ... I do have one weakness ... and that's for Charlie boy.  Eat your heart out ... he's the most handsome and wonderful little guy in the world, and I tell him so everyday:

 
He is my first son.  He's very hairy, and doesn't speak much, but I know his personality, and I know what he wants and what he needs.  He has brought out maternal sides of me I never knew I had.  Like ... brushing his perfect teeth, treating his hot spots, cleaning his ears, and wiping his bum.  Yeap, I've wiped his bum.  Sometimes he doesn't ... get it all ... so instead of it ending up in my house, I've wiped his little furry bum.  I NEVER thought that would happen, but I do it with love :)  So ... maybe I can handle a little person.  It can't be much different than caring for a puppy, right?  Neither can speak English, yet both are able to tell you what they need in their own ways.  


One time, though, when Charlie was a puppy, I didn't' get home to him in time, and he pooped in his crate.  He got so excited when I got home, that he kept stepping in his poop and smearing it all over the wires of the crate.  As grossed out as I was, I felt SO AWFUL because I know he didn't mean to go in his crate, but he had diarrhea and couldn't help it.  I felt like the worst mom in the world.

... if I've learned one lesson from that, it's that when I put my kid in his crate and leave for the day, I will make sure he has food, water, and a clean diaper ;)

How far along? 28 Weeks, 4 Days

Countdown: 11 Weeks, 3 Days

Total weight gain: 22 freaking pounds as of our appointment last week.  No matter what I eat or how many walks I take charlie on, this little man just keeps growing!  ha! go figure!

Maternity clothes? Yes. Dave took me back to Destination Maternity in Natick this past weekend to pick up a few more things for work.  Clothes I could fit in two weeks ago are suddenly too small :(

Stretch marks? nope, still stretch-free! thank god!

Sleep: Our central AC broke in our bedroom. Nothing is worse than an angry, over tired, and HOT preggo at 430am. 

Best moment this week: spending some time up in Rye, and SLEEPING IN.

Miss Anything? wearing 3/4 of my wardrobe.

Movement: Yes!  He's my little baby ninja!  I love watching my stomach at night when he seems to be most active ... so weird to see it twitch!!

Food Cravings: no major food cravings this week to note ... but I would LOVE a glass of FREAKING WINE ALREADY!!

Anything making you queasy or sick: nope!

Gender: BOY!

Labor Signs: Nope! But apparently soon ... fan-freaking-tastic.

Symptoms: no leaky boobs, thank god ... but I have had one crappy symptom.  The ankle I had surgery on last year was bothering me quite a bit this weekend.  I don't know if I tweaked it walking on the beach, or perhaps it's the extra weight, but it was a bit of a downer.  Luckily, it comes and goes, and as long as it doesn't keep me out of my heels, then I'm ok :)

Belly Button in or out?Still hanging on for dear life!!!  It's funny, though ... when I'm laying down and try to get up, it sorta pokes out a bit as I flex my stomach!  weird!

Wedding rings on or off? on

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy, but shhh ... dont tell the 3rd trimester that.

Looking forward to: I'm going to start prenatal yoga this week!  There is a preggo-only place in North Andover that I'm going to try out. Sorry, no skinny folks allowed, haaaaaaa!!! But for any other fellow preggos reading this, here's the link if you're interested:  http://www.maternalhealthandfitness.com

27 Weeks - Looking Back

Hi All,
    This week, Dave and I celebrate our 3rd wedding anniversary!  I can't BELIEVE it's been 3 years.  We were so lucky to have the most PERFECT day on July 19, 2009.  I know everyone says that about their wedding, but seriously, kids, ours was perfect.  That summer was the Noah's Ark summer.  It rained everyday and night for months, it seemed.  And somehow by the grace of the weather gods, we had a sunny, beautiful summer day. Here are a few of my most favorite pictures from that day:

 

OK, I better stop or my entire photo collection from the wedding will end up on here.
It's funny how we make 'plans' for our life, and how seldom reality catches up with our plans.  When we got married I always thought we'd wait 2 years before starting our family.  Somehow, warp-speed took over, and here we are, a year overdue on our "plan". It makes me think how quickly this time will pass, and how quickly our kid(s) will grow.  Also, I noticed how freakishly young we look.  It's only been 3 years, but man we look like kids! And I've heard that having kids ages you ... yikes, 3 years from now you probably won't recognize me as I'll haven taken on the form of a decomposing grandma.


When you think about 3 years from now, it seems so far away, but it will be here in the blink of an eye. Heck, Dave and I have been dating now for over 7 years ... ask me if I thought that was going to happen when I first met him ;) hah! My "plan" was to date him for 2 years and then break up with him.  Crap! So much for these 'plans' of mine :)  Perhaps I should quit trying to plan everything ... but that would mean having to throw away the MS Project document I worked so hard creating which outlines all of the milestones and tasks needing completion before the baby comes.  Ok ok ... I'm kidding ... uhhh ... I dont ... uhhh .. have a project... document.  I swear :) Look, folks, you're talking to a planner, I can't help it.  But ... I don't really have ... a project document.  At least not on paper :)


This Thursday is the actual day of our anniversary.  Our conversations have gone something like this:


Hunky Hubby ~ "So, honey, what do you want to do for our anniversary?"
Whale Wifey ~ "I'd love to get sushi and martinis at Blue Taleh and then head over to the dive jazz bar for some questionable mixed drinks served in a paper cup and dance until the sun comes up"
Hunky Hubby ~ "ehhhh ... I don't think that's going to work"
Whale Wifey ~ "you never listen to me"


ok ok ... just kidding, I had that convo in my head just now, but it very well could have happened.  This is more like the real conversations we've had:


Hunky Hubby ~ "So, honey, what do you want to do for our anniversary?"
Whale Wifey ~ "I dunno, what do you want to do?"
Hunky Hubby ~ "I dunno ... what do you want to do?"

yup ... that's about it. We will probably end up going to dinner somewhere nice, whilst I complain about not being able to enjoy a glass of wine.  

Speaking of wine.  I'm officially planning my "Comeback Tour".  Yup, I'm going to have a comeback tour, complete with anything ever made with alcohol in it, probably some rockin' '80s band, and anyone who wants to watch an out-of-shape new mommy get too drunk off of 1/4 glass of wine and dance her flabby ass away.  Any takers?  No?  I'm so shocked.

Seriously, though ... I've warned Dave that he "owes" me a few good nights out.  Ahhh ... I can't wait!! But, alas, I do have some sort of perception of reality.  I realize my "Comeback Tour" will probably consist of me passed out on the couch with an infant stuck to my boob and a full glass of wine sitting stagnant on the coffee table.  ROCKIN'! 


So what was my Preggo-Brain Instance of the Week?  It's taken 27+ weeks for me to realize that I had the wrong due date in my What To Expect When You're Expecting phone app.  Yes, for some reason I just realized that my app was set to Oct. 13th as the due date.  This has thrown off my dates by two days consistently.  I have since corrected the due date to October 11th.  A fellow-preggo asked me how I feel about losing the two days ... and surprisingly, I feel a little ripped-off!! Like when you're given incorrect change, or when you're waiting at a red light and it skips your turn.  What the heck, gimme back my two days!  (ok ok ... ask me how I feel about those two days when I'm 10 days overdue!)


This week, the little man is the size of a head of cauliflower, as we finish the last week of the 2nd trimester! This would explain my recent symptom of being, *ahem*, love-tapped in the ribs.  Not so nice, little man.  This is pretty much the closest thing to torture as I could imagine.  Like someone from the inside is ripping your ribs apart, one by one, in preparation to marinate them, grill them up and eat them with a twice-baked potato and a nice Cabernet.  Not good.  Any preggo can relate, I'm sure.  Combine the pressure of this alien trying to burst through my ribcage, with the sudden loss of function in my lungs, and you can start to imagine what it may feel like.  My problem is that I feel like this child should be listening to me and behaving already.  I feel like I should just be able to think my scoldings and that he should get it.  "Little man, stop kicking mommy in the ribs, it's not nice.  You shouldn't kick people in the ribs, ever." and poof, he should listen and stop.  So far ... I am 0 for 2 on this parenting technique. I wonder if there is anything in the preggo books that covers telepathic parenting?

(the camera was tilted, not the chalkboard!!)

How far along? 27 Weeks, 5 Days - the last week of the 2nd trimester! Yikes!
Countdown: 12 Weeks, 2 Days
Total weight gain: 22 freaking pounds. ahhhhhhh.
Maternity clothes? Yes, but I am wearing a combination of both regular and maternity clothes
Stretch marks? nope, still stretch-free! thank god!
Sleep: still getting up 3+ times per night to pee, but when I'm asleep, I'm sleeping well.
Best moment this week: spending the weekend with my nieces and nephew! For the very first time, all 4 were in the same place at the same time!!!
Miss Anything? being able to get up without a forklift
Movement: Yes, a lot more than before.  I think he is getting stronger!
Food Cravings: this week I asked dave to pick up some apples for me, but they HAD to be red apples, NOT granny smith! So if you're keeping score, I love watermelon, and apples!!
Anything making you queasy or sick: nope! which is why I've gained 22 FREAKING POUNDS.
Gender: BOY!
Labor Signs: Nope!
Symptoms: I had a baby ninja trying to nun-chuck his way out through my ribcage
Belly Button in or out? I'm calling this one a tie.  It's flat as a pancake.  I can't believe it's still holding on!!
Wedding rings on or off? on
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy and excited, but nervous as I begin to enter the 3rd trimester!
Looking forward to: sleeping in on the weekend :)

26 Weeks - For My Main Squeeze

Hi All,
    After 13 weeks of blogging, and 26 weeks of being preggo, this week's post is devoted to the "other" half of this pregnancy. I'm talking about my hubby.

look how cute he is :)

yup ... he's adorable.  


For the past 13 weeks I've been updating all of you on my thoughts, feelings, symptoms and interesting experiences as I EXPERIENCE them.  ME ... it's all me, baby ... and as I'm reading through pregnancy books, blogs, and mommy-to-be type websites, I'm finding that the focus is 99.9% on ME, aka, the whale carrying this little alien being in my kangaroo pouch.  The .1% that I've read focused on the man in my life has been either about rubbing MY feet (still waiting on that, btw), or about what gift to buy ME post-baby.  Not all that informative for someone like my hubby who is trying to hang onto my size XL coat tails as I bear the brunt of these 9+ months. Though, it does make me start thinking about what "push present" I want ... ;) aka deserve!


OK ... yes ... it's true ... I am the one going through this.  I am the one suffering from all the symptoms, and I'm the one kicking my once fit, 20-something body to the curb, but shouldn't I give him a little credit?

After all ... it must be hard on him.  Ok Ok ... hang on ... let me rephrase that.  It must be ... slightly difficult for him.  Dave is always asking me what it feels like to have this little man moving around and growing inside me.  Of course, it's almost impossible to describe ...but here is my best attempt:

At first, baby kicks felt like someone blowing bubbles in a glass of milk through a straw.  Now, they feel more like someone is tapping a base drum with their foot; quick, but deliberate beats.  I can confirm from other women, however, that by the end of pregnancy, things take a turn for the worst. These once delicate "beats" become the painful attacks of a rabid baby-mime trying to act out a scene from Rocky Baby Balboa as he fights a Russian baby, in front of the Russian Prime Minister babies, while trying to win over a defiant Russian baby crowd. "A few cheers now for Rocky Baby Balboa!!" .... "I see three babies out there ... HIT THE ONE IN THE MIDDLE!"



I like to think that he wants to be there for me, and make things better for me when they are bad.  But then it hits me ... no matter how close he is to our kids, he's NEVER going to understand this bond.  I can imagine how men may begin to feel left out of this monumental occasion.  But, at the end of the day, even if I could describe it perfectly, he just cannot understand completely what I am going through. I mean, lets face it.  The worst thing these he has to go through in life is an occasional cold, an 18hr Scottish hangover, or having to contemplate the possible aftermath of asking his pregnant wife if she really needs to eat ice cream directly out of the tub every night (hint: the answer is never ask ... don't even THINK about asking ... so far, he's passed this test!)

He has to deal with my aches, pains, and moodiness, without ever knowing what it actually feels like, or what sort of chemical imbalance I'm succumbing to this week.  Dave has been so supportive thus far ...


So ... here's one for my man...

*Thank you for putting up with me constantly groaning through the aches, complaining about being tired every single day as if it were the first day I experienced this exhaustion, and for telling me I only have a "little basketball belly" instead of saying that I look like I stuffed 25 basketballs inside my shirt. *Thanks for calming me down when I freak out about the idea of actually taking care of a helpless baby.  *Thanks for saying you don't "mind" getting up in the morning with the baby, even though 3 months from now I'm sure you will "mind".  *Thanks for saying that dirty diapers and puke don't gross you out.  *Thanks for laughing with me when I show you pictures of all the different ways you can extract milk from a human breast, including, by hand! *Thanks for not commenting when at night I put on a too small tank top and shorts that look like I've painted them on my body.  *Thanks for walking at my pace when I can't breathe or move my legs any faster than a sloth climbs a tree.  *Thanks for quitting soccer so that you can be home with me one more night during the week to listen to me complain.  *Thanks for not allowing me to paint the nursery, even though I want to, because it's bad for me.  *Thanks for carrying anything heavier than a cell phone up the 26 stairs to the bedroom so I don't have to.  *Thanks for letting me hire a cleaning lady (though I think this one benefits us both).  *Thanks for not judging me when I eat 165 cookies in one breath.  *Thanks for not complaining that I wake up so many times at night to pee.  *Thanks for not asking any questions that time you asked me what I wanted at the grocery store and I asked you to buy me frozen french fries.  *Thanks for going all the way up to our bedroom to kill the mutant spider that was on my side of the bed without complaining. *Thanks for nicely telling me that that bathing suit I bought just "didn't look right", instead of telling me I looked like crap in it ... and thanks for telling me the one I bought in its place looked better. *Oh, and thanks for taking on "Charlie Duty" in the mornings so that I don't have to get up early and walk down all the stairs to feed him at 5am ... that's a BIG one.


One might think that Mother Nature sends subliminal messages to him telling him to shut his trap and to let me complain, cry or bitch to my hearts content. Somehow his Scottish stubbornness must subside because he knows that whatever the heck I'm going through must be bad enough to replace his normally sweet and kind wife with this crazy shrew.


So thanks, baby ... this one's for you. I don't care what any other woman says ... I'm the luckiest one because I get to celebrate this time in my life with you.  I can't wait to see you in your father role, because I know you'll be so good at it, that it will inspire me to be a better mom than I could ever imagine I could be. Now ... don't let up, because the worst symptoms are yet to come :) And tonight we can talk about my push prezzie!!!!


As for this week's stats, our Little Man is the size of a cucumber! He has graduated to a new size chart where they include his legs and feet in his height (before it was just head to bum).  He is now somewhere around 15 inches long and about 2lbs!!!

 

How far along? 26 Weeks, 4 Days
Countdown: 13 Weeks, 3 Days
Total weight gain: 15lbs+  ... I will know exactly how much next Monday at our next appointment.  I'm thinking closer to 20.
Maternity clothes? Yes, but I am wearing a combination of both regular and maternity clothes
Stretch marks? nope, still stretch-free! thank god!
Sleep: still getting up 3+ times per night to pee, but I'm starting to get used to it, I think.  Funny how pregnancy prepares you for the lack of sleep you get as a new mom.
Best moment this week: getting to spend the weekend with my girls at Lisa Lu's bachelorette party weekend in Wellfleet! 
Miss Anything? going for a good jog.  Everytime I see someone jogging, especially on these last gorgeous summer days we've had, I get a pang of jealousy.
Movement: Yup!!! He's practicing his soccer moves :)
Food Cravings: still craving a hot dog for some reason.  I think it's the summer.  And ... a cold Carona Light, which is funny, because I'm a wine drinker.
Anything making you queasy or sick: nope!
Gender: BOY!
Labor Signs: Nope!
Symptoms: I've been really tired again this week ... not sure if it's from Wellfleet, or from the pregnancy!
Belly Button in or out? in... still ... but barely!  The bottom part looks like it might be mirating forward, though, which is scaring me.
Wedding rings on or off? on
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy! A little anxious, though, as I am finishing the last few weeks of my 2nd trimester.
Looking forward to: spending some time in Rye, NH this week with my family. They've rented a beach house for 2 weeks, and I can't wait to get up there!

25 Weeks - The Office Enemy

Hi Everyone!
    25 Weeks!!! This week, my anonymous office-enemy came back.  Yup, the jerk who keeps bringing in chocolates and leaving them in a huge bowl in the office kitchen.  Helpless, vulnerable, defenseless little chocolates.  Chocolates who STARE at me when I go into the refrigerator for my salad and my fruit ... chocolates who heckle me while my back is turned, but quickly silence as I turn to glare back with my preggo-evil eyed glare.  "Preggo!! Hey Preggo!! Over here! Eat us! We are small and can barely be counted as calories, we promise!! You will love us! Eat us!!! Go on ... it's ok, and while you're at it, don't just take one of us.  Take a few! We prefer to travel in packs!!!"


Before I know it, my preggo reflexes jump into action.  Under normal preggo circumstances, my once athletic and agile body has taken on the dynamic velocity of a slug.  However, when faced with heckling chocolate and a very brief moment of solidarity in the kitchen, I am hypnotized by the image of a chocolate-induced drunken state at my desk. My turtle-like movements quickly transform into the swift reactions of a cat on steroids.  Chocolate steroids. 


I take a quick glance out to the hallway to make sure that the coast is clear, and when I see that no one is coming, I respectfully only take 2, maybe 3 little chocolates and turn back to my salad which, masked by my adrenaline, seems to have dulled in the presence of chocolate gold.  I turn back around and can't help but notice that miraculously, still no one is coming to arrest me for chocolate kidnapping.  So, without the ability to see straight anymore, I sneak a quick hand back into the bowl for a few, 4, 5, 6 more pieces of chocolate.  The next thing I know, I am like a zombie who has found the last human being on the planet.  Covered in chocolate blood, I try to see how many chocolates I can fit in one hand, while still able to conceal the evidence on the walk back to my office.  Heaven forbid if I might have a bag with me to pocket the goods into.  

Once I'm back in my office, I put my sensible salad and fruit on my desk and sport my poker face ... no one knows that I am the chocolate thief.  If anyone asks "whoa, where did all the chocolates go?", they would never consider me, the salad-eating, innocent pregnant lady.  Nope!  And then the guilt hits me.  The guilt as I open my top drawer, the "candy hiding drawer", and I transport handful after handful of chocolate morsels into their new jail cell.  The reality of how many chocolate handfuls I actually managed to take sets in!  But now that I've taken them, I cant possibly bring them back for fear of being uncovered as Public Enemy #1 in the office, guilty for hogging all of the goodness. So, instead of admitting my fault, I take a mini-notebook and cover the chocolate so no one can see the heaping pile, should I open my drawer in the presence of another human being.


Another mission accomplished by the famished, pregnant, chocoholic.


Phew ... the above is most likely part of why I feel like a blimp these days!  I haven't weighed myself since my last doctor's visit, but I am sure that I'm nearing 20lbs gained at this point.  The babe is gaining quickly, and I am just as quickly looking the part.


That being said, lets have a quick moment to reflect on an interesting phenomena I will call, "You Can Say Anything to a Preggo And Apparently It Doesn't Matter".  This must be what people think when they address a pregnant person about her size/shape/looks.  Under normal circumstances no one with two semi-functioning brain cells would ever say anything to a woman about her size, but once she becomes pregnant, seemingly all rules can be broken without issue.


Apparently people think that anything you say to a pregnant woman about her size, shape, looks, is always a POSITIVE thing because, hey, you're pregnant!  But at the end of the day, no matter how you slice it, you're basically saying to her, "wow, you look FATTER than you usually look!". 

Don't all pregnant people want to know how BIG they look? My theory is that ... few do, but most don't.  Especially someone like myself who practices fitness and personal health as an act of everyday life, like brushing my teeth and telling Charlie how handsome he is everyday (yes, I will say this, and probably worse to my son ... can't help it. and he will hate every woman in his life except his adoring mommy.)


I cannot speak for every pregnant woman out there, because I know that there are some who love to see how big they are, and can't get enough of it.  But for me, every piece of chocolate that I devour (and lets face it, no one can eat just one), is another day/week/month of working my ass off post-pregnancy with my jogging stroller to get my body back.  No, I don't have body image issues ... I eat what I want, whenever I want, but I am acutely aware of my health and what it means for my future, my hubby's future, and my kids/grand-kids future to have me around and healthy. And frankly, I also know how great I feel when I've been taking care of myself, and I feed off of that (no pun intended)


A great piece of evidence that came to me from a fellow preggo to supports my theory that non-preggos think they can make any and all comments they want:

"This guy at work came up to me this morning and said: "You look great! You're glowing!" and then followed up with this statement: "That was good, right?! It's better than saying, "Wow. You look way bigger!!""

So ... it's not just me!! That being said ... here are some of the interesting ways that non-preggo's have addressed me in the recent days/weeks.  Lets have a learning session, shall we?


"You've Popped!" ~ This may possibly be the most popular "you're looking huge" comment I've received, and likely, my least favorite.  Thanks for noticing. I guess I've answered your question as to whether or not I was just "letting myself go", or if I was actually pregnant.  Now you have your answer.


"You've Got a Little Belly!"~ This is just a downright lie.  If I had a "little belly" you wouldn't be saying anything.  I have a big belly, and you're trying to sugarcoat it by saying that it's little.  Nice try, but you're not fooling me!


"You've Blossomed!" ~ this was creative, and threatened to throw me off guard for a moment, but it didn't.  Blossomed ... really? is that what you'd call THIS?? (hands on belly like Chunk about to do the Truffle Shuffle)


"You Look Great!" (with eyes wide opened and starting at my stomach) ~ ladies, do you like it when a man stares at your boobs and not at your face?  Same idea. Words mean nothing if your eye-language is saying something different.


"Is that a maternity shirt?" ~ you're either asking because you think I need to be wearing maternity clothes, or you don't know what else to say about my protruding abdomen that is threatening to shoot a button into your forehead. Bulls-Eye!!!

"OMG!! Just in the last few weeks!!!" ~ this means that you're astonished to see how quickly I am able to pack on the lbs and transform myself into Marshmallow Man's squishy mistress.

And my favorite I've saved for last.  This is the short dialogue I had with a complete stranger.  I was semi-excited because it was the first stranger who, out of nowhere, asked me when I was due.  It was a sort of, confirmation, that I might actually look pregnant, and not just chubby.  While signing in at the registration desk at a work conference, the young and beautiful girl smiles at me and begins with,

Stupid Girl: "Oh my gosh, when are you due?" 

Preggo, smiling ear to ear: "October 11th!!"

Stupid Girl: "Oh wow! ... huh ... <pauses> You're awful ROUND for October!!!!"

.... yes.  I am apparently "awful round" ... ROUND!!!!!  In her evaluation of me, I'm too round to possibly be due in October.  Clearly I am going to have this baby any minute now.  They may have to abruptly put a halt to the conference because my water is clearly about to break and they will have to deliver the baby right there in the auditorium.  You know what, while she's at it, she better be safe and notify security, the local clinicians, and the janitor to keep them on stand-by for this one.  

The moral of this story is ... there is only ONE way to address a pregnant woman, and I learned it from the most random source you can find.  My family's pizza man.  Yes ... every Friday night for as long as the dinosaurs have been around (or since cheese met dough, whichever came first), we've have had "Friday Pizza Night" at my parent's house.  A quick plug to Pizza King in Lawrence ... The.Best.Pizza.Ever! John, the owner, is probably the last person on the planet whom I would have thought would have the answer for all sweating, bloated, uncomfortable pregnant women everywhere .... seriously. If I wasn't afraid that he, or someone he knew would read this and then come murder me in my sleep, then I would go into detail describing him, but those of you who know him, know why this is so shocking. And those of you who don't know him ... well ... for the sake of my unborn little man, I'll describe him the next time I see you in person ... as long as you're not wearing a wire.

Last Friday while with my dad picking up The.Best.Pizza.Ever, John came out from the back of the kitchen and stood next to me and his eyes did a BRIEF (very key here) belly glance, and he looked me in the eyes and said, in probably the most genuine of all voices,

"There is nothing more beautiful than a pregnant woman.  You look great!"

omg are you serious?  Someone give this man a piece of The.Best.Pizza.Ever, or better yet, a good hug and a cold beer.  THAT is how you address a pregnant woman who feels uncomfortable in her new chocolate infused, pumpkin body with turtle-like reflexes.  Who would have thought the pizza man had all the answers?

For my preggo-brain "Instance of the Week", I've got a quick one for you.  While getting my gestational diabetes test (routine test the doctor has you take to make sure you are not at a risk for diabetes), I was asked to drink this sugary drink that was surprisingly tasty...it tasted like an iced cold lemon-lime drink.  When, however, the phlebotomist asked me how it tasted, I said, "It's surprisingly very good!! The only thing that would make this better is if it were mixed with some vodka!".  Well, apparently joking about drinking isn't as funny to the maternity phlebotomist as it is with any other person on earth! I should have guessed.  She looked at me as if she was 2 seconds away from calling Child Protective Services. Awesome move, Lisa. 

Onto the baby ... this week, he is the size of an Eggplant, and weighs somewhere around 2lbs! 

How far along? 25 Weeks, 3 Days
Countdown: 14 Weeks, 4 Days (I thought this was an interesting fact to add)

Total weight gain: 15lbs+  thank you anonymous office enemy

Maternity clothes? Yes, I went to Destination Maternity in Natick and got a whole bunch of clothes.  I'm finding that I don't have any casual "summer" clothes like t-shirts and tank tops that fit over my tummy, so I had to stock up.  The shirt I'm wearing in the picture this week is from there! But, happily, I am still in much of my regulary non-maternity clothes, too.

Stretch marks? nope, still stretch-free!

Sleep: ahh nope ... getting up too often to pee, or because Charlie is hogging the bed.

Best moment this week: The cleaning lady came for the FIRST TIME! It was the best money we've spent in a long time, in my opinion.  It was such a relief to look around and know that I didn't have anything to do with the house all weekend! Marge "the cleaning lady" is now coming every other Friday!!

Miss Anything? good exercise ...walking doesn't cut it.

Movement: Yup!!! Dave was even able to see my tummy move from the outside this week!

Food Cravings: I craved a hot dog this week.  mmmmm ... thank you, summer. But I should mention that cousin Ashley got a kick out of hearing me talk about my recent love affair with Watermelon.  I'm officially obsessed with it, and it's very random for me!

Anything making you queasy or sick: nope!

Gender: BOY!

Labor Signs: Nope!

Symptoms: Not anything I can think of.  My gums were even better this week
Belly Button in or out? in... still ... but barely!  It's pretty flat, with a hint of innie left!
Wedding rings on or off? on

Happy or Moody most of the time: Feeling great! and apparently "ROUND"! grrr
Looking forward to: continuing work on the nursery so I can post pictures for everyone!